Ecclesiastical Update

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Ecclesiastical means of or related to the church, a synonym for religious or churchly. So, what I want to share this morning is an update on the State of the Church. I was hired in summer of 2018, following a period of controversy and contention following the departures of three ministers and some longtime lay stalwarts. I was charged with carrying out the normal responsibilities of congregational ministry including worship, spiritual and pastoral leadership, and to assist you in addressing five (5) specific concerns: 

1. Inspiring a healthier culture at East Shore;  
2. Stabilize the church’s governance structure (Policy Based governance & SLT executive model); 
3. Increase the church’s financial health; 
4. Establish a Leadership Development Program with recognized visibility and effectiveness; 
5. Bringing about growth in numbers, spirit, and good multi-generational programming. 

First: inspiring a better culture here at ESUC. How’s that been going? Pretty well, I believe—and here is why. When I arrived, I immediately met dozens of people who wanted to set me straight on all the recent controversies, which “side” was right, and which was wrong, and why. I must tell you the truth: when I was trained as a teacher/therapist for emotionally vulnerable children my supervisor, Anne Hicks, regularly reminded me to pay less attention to content of what the clients were saying and focus my attention on their affect. Which ever since I have always tried to do. And there was plenty of affect to go around, on every side of every issue. It was far from the worst I’ve seen, but the willingness of members to focus on the controversial issues instead of working on healing their relationships, though understandable, was counterproductive.  

And once it starts to escalate, it just winds up. Using the then-recently established Right Relations Committee to deescalate was encouraged, wisely, as it turned out as their repeated careful nonviolent strategy for unpacking highly charged emotional material getting in the way of true dialogue. Over the course of the next two years, largely facilitated by Pam Orbach, we became far more comfortable studying and talking about the cultural and racial issues dividing much or America—indeed the whole world. But mostly we learned to talk about the issues that were dividing us from one another. And about how we can be more understanding and welcoming going forward. And we are learning. And we are better as time goes on, and less flummoxed and bent outta shape when triggered hearing terms like “white supremacy culture” or “antifa activists.”  

I am a process/relational thinker. It’s the relationships here that were strained and getting back in synch with each other and in harmony with your vision and mission requires healing the relationships, then the controversies will evaporate. Oh, there are still plenty of disagreements, but they only that, dis-agree-ments. Not quarrels. I was fairly sure things were going to settle down and even out, because I also quickly discovered upon my arrival that there were many terrific, wonderful people in the congregation. Lots of competence. Lots of intelligence and compassion. Creative instincts and generosity a’plenty. It’s a hard to beat combination when not crippled by lingering grudges and old wounds.  

The second charge given to me was to stabilize the church’s governance structure, both its policy governance organizational structure and through formalizing staff collaboration by means of firming up the Staff Leadership Team. This effort was aided by a second Board Committee, the Policy & Governance Committee led by Ann Fletcher. The committee has worked continuously throughout my tenure going through our church bylaws, ironing out holdover anomalies, and never abating their work bringing our church organizational structure into compliance with our mission and vision. Stabilizing the SLT (Staff Leadership Team) has been harder. It has gone from three members to four and the leadership styles of each of us are still in the process of working out a good working plan. But we are getting better, mostly by revisiting our mutually agreed to SLT Covenant and doing our best to follow its guidance. Soon the SLT will again face a rearrangement of personnel and other changes. Nevertheless, I feel good about my work helping integrate these governance structures into your legal documents and general self-understanding. As your next Minister begins working their way into everyday life here, they will be helped by all of this.  

Increasing the church’s financial health was also among my charges here. It was suggested that adherence to long-term strategic planning be utilized in combination with leveraged use of the endowment fund, mortgage, and facilities reserve fund could supplement ESUC’s pledging capacity. Additionally, I was encouraged to assist the congregation in deciding what to do with the proceeds from the sale of Holly House, only voted upon a few weeks before my arrival. This has been kind of a never-ending saga. We have steadily increased our pledging strength throughout the years of my ministry. But the long-term strategic plan has been revisited only recently. And then there’s Holly House. Having spent four years on the Task Force, I must tell you in all honesty the church members who have enlisted in this task are wonderful heroes to me and always will be. They will become heroes to all of you, too. Not tomorrow, but soon enough. Soon enough, I can assure you.  

Financial health is a step-by-step process. And there are many steps before you guys. The Financial Stewardship and Budget Committees are concerned that our church staff has grown too large. Hard to say. I can attest to their dedication and commitment to this church and the fulfillment of your mission. They are also basically good people who want with all their hearts for this place to thrive and be the extraordinary center for art, growth, liberation, and the celebration of life it was in prior days. May it be so again, my friends; may it be so! 

I was unsuccessful at establishing a leadership and volunteer development program. Martin Cox and I were beginning to get organized around this effort when the novel coronavirus struck twenty-five (25) months ago. I haven’t mentioned the pandemic because I do not want people to think I’m offering excuses. And there is no excuse necessary. We were hit by an extraordinary series of events that changed everything, in all of our lives. And let me add, in the lives of all of our compatriot Unitarian Universalists across the land, across the world.  

We as a congregation responded in manifold wonderful ways. From having never broadcast services of any kind, within a week our Sunday worship and RE went completely virtual. It was bumpy at first, but we never missed a beat. And what we presented got better every Sunday. We learned to make videos, to sing hymns, to craft joys and sorrows mandala meditations, to include the children and youth in our services—all while continuing outreach through a variety of Ministry Teams active across the greater Eastside. It was exciting! But it was also terribly exhausting and, as the pandemic went on, emotionally draining for many of us—including me. I became depressed. I spoke with Keith Kron—the Director of Transitions at denominational headquarters in Boston—and was relieved to learn that I was not alone. Nor should I have been surprised. The root of the word religion is the Latin “religio,” meaning literally “to gather together again.” And when, suddenly we as ministers were unable to gather anyone together at all… well it was incredibly challenging. And extremely hard for me to deal with. By preventing us from gathering, I also lost my most effective instrument for re-establishing cohesion and warmer feelings for one another: adjusting seating arrangements into a circle so that we all face one another. Your President, Mike Radow, and especially your Vice-President, Signe Lalish, were both helpful in supporting me through this tough time. 

The truth is that much of parish ministry can be a tough time, sometimes very tough. If you are not attentive and careful… it can hammer you. You realize that the average career in the Unitarian Universalist parish ministry is eight and a half years? There are a lot of short timers in this line of work. An ancient, but often hobbled craft, parish ministry is neither particularly glamorous nor lucrative. We work when those whom we are serving are not working. People can be imperious sometimes and you must take it in stride; it rarely helps to tell a member off even when they deserve it. Pay attention to the affect. What is the unspoken, inner need? After forty years practicing this craft, I can say with confidence that every political problem I’ve run into somehow emerged from—was generated—by a pastoral lapse or insensitivity. I try to be sensitive, to pay attention to impact, to act with care. But I confess that some days I am better than others. And not always at my best, for which I apologize.  

In little over two months, I will be out of here. It is always like that when you are an interim or developmental minister. Here today, gone tomorrow…. Who was that masked man? We are transitional ministers—we are not asked to make an imprint on the institution, but to align it with our movement’s best instincts and impulses… And set it up for success in the weeks and months and years to come. Pour out the old wine, so that new wine can be put in, and from there into new wineskins altogether. I enjoy the role, and I take pride in it.  

There are some protocols that should be mentioned, the main one being that upon departure we are asked to refrain from contact with members for a couple of years. Why? To give my successor a chance to fully engage with all of you. And to let me disengage from Bellevue and get fully connected into a new congregation someplace else. For ministers, too often this engenders a lot of repressed and unexpressed grief. But it does not have to. Disengagement demands acknowledging one’s grief. Which I am acknowledging and sharing with you right now. Moreover, Carol and I will leave you and, come midsummer, we will stay away. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t loved you. Because I have… deeply and desperately. Rest assured. I have loved you. 

My favorite teacher in seminary, Bernard Loomer, admonished me as I left to accept my first call, “Congregants want to love their minister and be loved by that person back.” I’ve done my best to love you back into congregational health. Now it’s up to you to do your best to love your new minister in the same generous way.  

So may it be. And may all your endeavors be blessed. Amen. 

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