From the Minister: Qualifications for A Minister Are Quite High

by Rev. Dr. Stephen H. Furrer

This has been a stressful time and we all could use a good laugh. Recently, a fellow minister shared this article with me and I thought I would share it with you.

Qualifications for a Minister a Quite High

“To illustrate this, I offer this definition of the perfect minister that has floated around the internet:

The perfect minister…

  • Is 29-years-old and draws upon 40 years of ministerial experience.
  • Gives sermons that are thoroughly researched, intellectually challenging, deeply practical and will leave you in tears. And only 15 minutes long!
  • Condemns injustice but never hurts anyone’s feelings.
  • Happily works for little pay (because after all it is a calling), wears professional clothes, maintains an extensive library, drives a good car, and tithes 10% to the church. And Habitat for Humanity.
  • Is single with a nice family.
  • Is a Humanistic Theist, with Buddhist and Pagan influences most of the week, reverting to Christian and Hindu practices on weekends.
  • Will meet with committees, congregants and community leaders on any day of the week, morning, noon and evening, and has good boundaries, nurturing their own self-care.
  • Smiles all the time with a straight face, using a sense of humor to be seriously dedicated to church work.
  • Makes 15 calls a day on church members, spends all spare time recruiting new members, and is never out of the office.
  • Is LGB or T, from a minority race, grew up in and out of poverty, and is just like all of us.

Written by David C. Pohl, UUA Director of Ministerial Settlement, 1974-1993”

I hope you all find moments to laugh and love during this time at home and social distancing. Please reach out if you need anything during and know that while we are not sharing a physical space, we are all in this together.

Yours in abiding liberal faith,

Steve